SELFISH

SELFISH. It's the word I've been pondering. Some say I have a 'Heart of Gold'...or was it a 'Body of Gold'? I've been called "Sunshine" and known as giving everything I have to anyone in need, hence I am the total opposite of Selfish, I'm selfless.

Do me a favor and define selfish. Better yet, I'll define it for you. Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. I mean, lets face reality when I say this definition defines most women. Women are naturally more selfless than men, majority of us women were born as givers and nurturers. We give love and attention no matter what. In my opinion, men are just a little bit more selfish. I'm not dogging on all men saying that they are ALL selfish assholes. But yes, some do exist. I've encountered many.

AND then...there's me. Why am I the victim of giving too much? Loving too much? Being too selfless? Why can't I be more selfish?

I'm not doubting my capabilities that I can't be more selfish. It's something I work on daily. Focus on me. Be selfish. Forget about everything else and do what I need to do to better myself and be me. And where do I need to put that selfish energy? Into Men! Relationships! When it comes to men, I tend to brush my selfish feelings aside and give everything I have. I don't know what it is about me. I know other women can relate. I could start with the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Guess I gotta find a pocket in my shirt to keep my heart in, and sew it shut for a while. ;)

Lately, I've realized that there are more selfish people in this world and there are more selfless people than I ever thought. I'm learning to shut out the people who are too selfish to recognize a wonderful person in their life because they are not worthy nor do they deserve the presence of me!

I'm a SELFISH woman. I'll SHARE all my LOVE with you...But my HEART?

That's my posession.

-*Pocket Full Of Sunshine*-From Seattle