Confessions of the 20 Something Gals

Sweet Revenge (Who run the world?)

2011-05-22T19:19:00.001-07:00

After a night together, watching the (boring) Pacqiao vs Mosely fight, my boyfriend decided to leave me to drive home by myself so he can go out with his "boys". I didn't make a fuzz at the time but I was pissed! How rude? knowing that I don't really know that many people in the city to just make my own "out of the blue" plan, he shouldn't have done that.

Half of me understood the fact that it has been a while since he has gone out with his friends but the other half of me was, like I said, pissed!

I was determined to find a good time! It was a lot of pressure but, I was very determined. I called everyone I knew in the area but none of them picked up my call or responded to my text.

So I drove to an area where I know there are a lot of options to do. If I had to pay cover charge, it wouldn't be a good night so I had to get it together, and play my cards right. I decided to go to one of the clubs I've never been before. I put on the puppy dog face and walked up to the promoter. He looked at me and my outfit and I knew that I was in!

Me: "Excuse me, how much is cover?"
promoter: "Are you on the list?"
Me: "No, I'm not from around here."
promoter: (paused) "Alright come follow me"

The next thing I knew, he has walked me passed the long line, and gave me a ticket for free admission. I was the happiest girl in the world at that time!

Then comes the next challenge: being alone in the club! So I walked around and calculated what I needed to do to have a good time. It was only 11pm and I knew that it wouldn't be "crackin" until about midnight. So I lounged and watched people. A few men walked by and took a second look at me, but I played the cocky look - "I'm too cool for anyone."

An hour later, I decided it's time to walk around and "hook" some men. After all, it wouldn't be a great time if I don't get any attention from men, right? A few dance moves later, I had a few men waiting to dance with me and watching me while they wait. I almost forgot what it feels like to be a single woman prowling for attention! It was a piece of cake!

A few people asked who I was with and I would tell them some girlfriends and that I had walked away from them to get some air. The most important tip when you're alone in a club is... never let anyone know you are alone for safety reasons!

As I was starting to have a good time, all I can think about was my boyfriend and wished he would call soon so he can hear how much fun I'm having :)

He finally calls me, I got the reaction I was looking for: a held-back surprised reaction to the loud music he is hearing in the background. As it turns out, he didn't have a good time. One of his friends got too drunk and they had to call it an early night.

After that night, I can most certainly attest to how girls rule the world! Cats rule and dogs drool!
My boyfriend will now think twice of leaving me by myself!

from:
I'ma -a- Diva

Unspoken Rules of the Friends with Benefits

2010-03-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Many of us out there are in a “casual” relationship. But as much as we have witnessed this type of relationship from TV or from friends we still seem to really not know how to properly position our emotions when it comes to the casual dating. Sometimes I wish I was Samantha(Sex and the City) – but then I’m not really in New York – ha!

So you tell me if you agree, but these are the unspoken rules whether you like it or not!
1. You can’t be jealous – you really can’t!

2. You can’t expect him to cuddle with you after wards and if he does it doesn’t mean he’s falling for you! It just means he’s in the mood to cuddle.

3. You can’t dress down! Seriously! Men are very visual and if you want to have even the tiniest control over the situation, you always have to make him realize that you’ve got what it takes to attract other people and that he’s not the only guy in the planet

4. Don’t show him all the benefits of being your friends all at once – don’t give him your goods, cook, massage him, and give him your goods again in the same night, week, or even month! As a matter of fact, just give him one benefit if you can help it.

5. Don’t expect to get his public display of affection and if you do get it don’t read too much into it!

6. Never think you’re the only one! No reason to confirm it or no reason to assume it. There’s a reason why he doesn’t want to get tied up. Don’t you think?

7. Try not to be lovey dovey! If you want to show him your domestic side – you can get others to confirm it! Cook for your “real” friends and have them be the testimony to your domestic side! What’s the point of proving yourself to him when he’s not proving himself to you?

8. Try not to spend the night all the time. Leave in a hurry sometimes like you somewhere to be :)

9. Wait for him to invite you over or invite himself over sometimes. Be aware of who initiates all the time! It can’t be you giving up the goods all the time.

10. Just because you’ve already hit the sack doesn’t mean you can’t play hard to get when you want! They love the chase!

You see there are so many constrictions in a casual relationship. Sometimes you loose yourself and you forget what a great girlfriend you’d make because you have been so consumed by making sure you don’t feel too much, give too much or love too much.

See when men tell you they do not want to be in a relationship and you still decide to get yourself involved, don’t expect for their minds to change just because you’ve shown them all of your “benefits”. Men will secretly think: “whew! Glad I told her I didn’t want a relationship early on”. They think they are off the hook! So ladies if you decide to get yourself in a causal relationship make sure you fully accept that there’s a big chance that it could never be more than that!

Sincerely,

I'ma -a-Diva from Seattle

They call it Try-sexual... I call it BADDD

2009-08-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

I like to stay and live on the edge. So far in life I have tried different scenarios and different settings. Been to a swingers club, had a one night stand in Vegas, took stripper 101, dated an older man (12 years older), dated a younger man (just a few years younger), had sex in the balcony, marathon sex (over 10 times in one weekend), sex with a friend, lap dance show, done it in a public place… etc… I am by no means a whore but I like to live on the edge :) - I don’t think I’ll be trying a threesome because I don’t like to share… nor I’d try it through the back if you know what I mean.
Anyway – so lately, in the past year after I have been cheated on by my ex boyfriend I have been asking myself if I could ever be in a polygamous relationship. Not that I want to be in one but I want to try and see if I can stand knowing I’m not the only woman he’s luvin. I wasn’t careful with what I wished for that time. I met this young lad who I have felt so much sexual tension with in the beginning. I’m attracted to intelligence and talent and so far he’s got the skills that as a little kid I have always day dreamed of mastering – fighting skills! He’s a Tae Kwon Do instructor and I guess you can call me a horny student ;)
He flirted with me non stop and I tried to ignore him because the first few weeks I knew him we were both involved in a project that I was spear heading. I had to keep it professional! I see him lingering around and I feel him admiring my skills (dancing) but like I said I had to resist. Our project was over and here comes the after party where I still tried to resist myself because I knew something was different. Later on I found out he has a girlfriend of 10 years. I cannot beat that! Ha! My longest relationship was 3 years and I got bored. I kept playing with the fire and so far I’m loving the heat and I’m not burnt yet.
Of course I asked him to work me out and train me so I can be more fit and I can learn some Kicks! Next thing I knew he was on the ground stretching me and holding me with his strong arms. Of course I offered lunch as a payment for his time. Then all of a sudden we were alone in my place. He’s got strong hands so I knew he could make my big ol thighs feel better so I asked he massaged my thighs knowing that my thighs are my weakest spot – it’s the key to turning me on. I was straddling him as he was massaging my thighs then the next thing I knew I was sitting on him kissing and caressing. I kept thinking the karma that’s coming my way for kissing a man with a girlfriend of 10 years but of course it didn’t help that he always complained about how boring she is blab la blah. And all the text messages he sent me the past few days about being infatuated with me…
Then he carries me on the way to my room and I had to stop him in the hallway cuz that was such a sexy spot. He puts my legs on his shoulders and said “are you ready” – lol – I wasn’t but before I said anything I found myself about 4-5 feet off the ground anticipating the greatest orgasm of my life. WOW! I need a strong man like him! And he aims to please… That was the guiltiest pleasure of my life thus far! Now if I can just tell his girlfriend what a great gift it is to have a man who can keep up in the bedroom maybe she’d try harder to keep him around. He keeps saying that if he doesn’t get what he needs from her that he’ll leave her but from what I have known in life so far relationships of 10 years are hard to leave. You get accustomed to always having that person around and you become coward of a life without that person. But we’ll see how it pans out… Well I won’t write about the rest but thought you’d enjoy this story or not :).

Sincerely,
I’ma – a – Diva from Seattle
p.s.
Don’t Judge me!

TWO OF A KIND (Pisces man and woman)

2009-06-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

It’s not often we find someone reflective of ourselves. But I have definitely been dealing with the man in the mirror. The things we find similar with each other has been mind-boggling. They say opposites attract but so do we. Born on the same week of the same month but a different year, we have found ourselves a dilemma! Similar strengths and weaknesses – how do we survive this hurdle?

It saddens me that for the first time, I have to work this hard to get the relationship to the next level. I must say I have been spoiled by men who took control. Now I’ve got someone who is passive in terms of officially getting ourselves into the next step in the relationship. He did work to keep us going – calling me everyday, working our schedules to see each other, sending me gifts on holidays, etc. These are the minor details I look for in a man, however, it doesn’t stop there. He needs to take us to the next level – I’m not used to a passive man but I’m doing my best to find the best solution.

It’s my fairy tale that’s at stake here! I need to make things happen without feeling like I rolled over and played dead to his needs. I definitely feel like we could be one of the best pairs if we get through this. We have both put in some work and a lot of thought about this. I must admit that this relationship is the most strategically well thought out effort coming from me. :)

Sincerely,

I'ma -a-Diva from Seattle

It IS... What it IS... Or IS IT?

2009-04-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

It IS What It is…. Or is IT?

Never take anything seriously when you are caught in a situation in your life when you and the person that you are “seeing” or “dating” says “it is what it is.” Cause let me tell you it never is.

I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster with my current dude for over a year and I’m getting to this point where I don’t know what to believe anymore. He tells me one thing and does another. Says he doesn’t like this girl… but then I read shit on his facebook that leads me to believe something else.

So the question is… What the fuck is it?

Let me break this story down a little bit for you. I would love to go all the way back to the very beginning but that’s another story in itself, so let me start in November 2008.

He happened to go on vacation in Hawaii, and I just so happened to go to Hawaii at the same time as well for a family funeral. Anyway, one day he asks to hang out, meet up at the beach with my cousins and I. I’m down, so we confirm a place to meet. He then sends me a text message “I’m going to bring this chick I met last week.” My thought process is… “WTF? He’s joking.” I don’t think he’s serious, cause we’ve been pretty seriously talking since September. We’re sleeping together, and he’s the only one that I am sleeping with.

So I show up at the beach and what do I see? My dude and this chick laying next to each other on the sand. My heart starts to drop and I can’t believe my eyes. My mind is racing. “Did this asshole really bring this bitch to the beach?” And ladies he really did. I tried to hold back my attitude. Be composed. I was boiling with anger and jealousy.

He introduces us. She’s nice. Cute. She has curly hair like me. Freckles too. Bitch. Asshole. I can’t control my emotions. When I am angry or upset I tend to tear up. I felt my eyes filling up so I grabbed my sunglasses. I need something to distract me and the sun isn’t enough. So… I start reading my book. Doesn’t help one bit. I still see them talking to each other right next to me. Mind you, I am laying next to them. Don’t ask me why I decided to do that.

The music in my ipod doesn’t help either. I thought that it would maybe help drown out my emotions but this shit is too much for me to handle. So I start texting my cousins and girlfriends about what this asshole just did. They are just as pissed as I am. I can’t take this. I get up to go into the water. I’m thinking to myself “I really gotta think this through, what are you doing? And what are you going to do now?”

I sit on the sand and let the waves splash up against me…. I feel the sun soaking in my brown skin. “God, please help me through this.” I beg. I start going through how I plan on not talking to him anymore when I get back to Seattle.

I then feel someone behind me and a handful of sand hits a part of my arm. I turn around and see him. Standing there. Looking at me. “What’s wrong?” I think to myself, “Are you really asking me that question? Aren’t my emotions written all over my face.” I’m pretty easy to read. Of course I reply with “Nothing.” He has to know that I am lying.

He asks again, “Are you upset?” This time I reply with a “yes.” He asks if I am upset because of the girl and I nod my head. I think “Hello, how stupid are you?”

We decide to talk about it over dinner. His justification was “at least I told you.” “She’s just a friend.” “You met someone last time you were here.”

Doesn’t matter what he said to me because he did me wrong! He disrespected me in front of my cousin. He didn’t give a damn about my feelings and even though I did meet a guy in August when I went to Hawaii who I kissed once. We were not serious as we were now. And I would never bring another dude to the beach if I was planning on hanging out with my “dude.”

Anyway, I ended up squashing it. I don’t like to dwell on things that have already happened. Blah blah blah, things were fine. I didn’t bring it up again. Then we’re back In Seattle and I see that he posted pictures of him and that “girl” on his myspace. What the hell? I start to get upset again. Not only did him and I take a ton of pictures but he put up pictures of him and that girl before he put up any of us.

I’m irritated and we already know my emotions are readable like a book. We have a fight about this a few days later and he gets defensive. “She’s just a friend, she’s from Germany, I met her in a grocery store, I didn’t sleep with her, I haven’t put up all my pictures yet.”

Of course I believed him, I mean why wouldn’t I right? I really like this guy, I want to be with him so forgive and forget.

Lesson to be LEARNED… All of those answers were BULLSHIT because I’ve learned so much more since.

Turns out that they continued to keep in touch since November. They were friends on facebook. He never accepted me or any of my cousins friend requests and now I know why. He didn’t want me to see that they kept in touch.

If men only knew that they CANNOT hide anything from a WOMAN. We know everything. We find a way to find out everything, and someway it finds a way to let itself known to us. WOMEN are gifted creatures in this way.

I ended up moving to Hawaii In February for a wonderful job opportunity. He fed me with what I feel is bullshit now of “I’m going to miss you.” He helped me pack the night before I left. Flowered me with kisses and affection. Come to find out… the “girl” makes a trip out to visit him two days later. How cute. Just in time for Valentines day.

How did I find out all this information? The lovely world of Facebook. The girl put up all the pics, that’s how I found out first. I confronted him about it and of course more excuses came out of his mouth. “She doesn’t mean anything to me compared to you… I don’t like certain things about her….” Blah blah blah. Oh God, write me a fucking sympathy card so I can cry for you. As Rhianna says, “Can I get a round of applause?”

I was pretty mad. I started to put the puzzle pieces together. This is why he never accepted me as a friend on facebook. This is why he didn’t answer my phone or texts much during that week. This is why when we did talk, he was busy cleaning his place. Cleaning his place for her! He spent Valentine’s Day together with her, while I spent mines alone. Oh my god, Mother F-er!

I finally put the dates together of everything when he finally accepted my friend request a week ago. My question is, he claims he didn’t have these strong feelings for her, yet she goes to visit him, he sleeps with her, all their comments to each other are “BABY THIS” and “BABY THAT.” God, gag me already. W-T-F!

I happened to leave out the part that he just came to visit his family and I a week ago. And he says all this stuff of how “I could have made you my girl, but I didn’t want to be selfish and hold you back from following your dream.” “I really like you.” He tells me that he doesn’t have strong feelings for that girl, but that girl really likes him and he doesn’t know what to do.

Arrogance doesn't get you anywhere. It’s like he wanted her to fall for him like he loves the attention cause he can’t be ALONE.

You have to be thinking to yourself that this guy is such an asshole, why am I still talking to this guy? Why do I care about him? What the FUCK am I doing?

See what happens when you let yourself like someone? Drama. Bullshit. So ladies never let this happen to you. NEVER be in a situation where it could be called “It is… what it is.” Cause there is always more to the story.

The question now remains…. How will my story END?

-Pocket Full Of Sunshine- From Seattle/Hawaii

My first Swingers club experience! Is it my last?

2009-04-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this blog by saying that I couldn't find it inme to tell a short version of this story :) So this is definitely a lengthy entry.

In the spirit of ADVENTURE - I found myself walking in a Swinger's Club in San Francisco with my guy (Sexy Mocha) ! First of all this place wasso low key - a secret path - tinted glass doors and no sign outside. The door was locked and we had to buzz in! It was $60 bucks for couples and $10 for single ladies and it's BYOB (Bring Your Own Beer/Drink). So we walked in - it's definitely myfirst time! Not only was I nervous but I realized as I walked in that I was dressed TOO sexy for the event! I mean what was I thinkin? I didn't want to get hit on by couples, I don't like girls getting too close to me and it would just be awkward to hook up with another guy! Yes sexy mocha and I were there not to swap with strangers but to watch and to be watched :) Although I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to a threesome. Lol.

We walked in and I was so nervous to make any eye contact with anyone. As we go on further, there was this man who looked like he was in his late 40's in linen pants and white tank top walking around in socks and I just get this predator vibe from him so I stick closer to my sexy mocha! Then the weirdo says "Sexy Dress" and without making any eye contact I said "Thanks" Whew! That was close. Then we turned in the six pack that he bought andthey assigned a number to it so you can keep coming back to the lady incharged of everyone's alcohol.

So this place is Called Twist corner of Kearny St and Columbus Ave. forthose who are interested. It has two floors - first floor for dancingand second floor for "play" - yes mmhmm. So we come in, there were maybe 5 other couples just sitting around and no one was dancing. We sit and watch one video screen with professional strippers and the other screen was hard core porn - which I was so uncomfortable watching. Then the old and so unattractive couple sitting by us started fondling with each other as they danced and I avoided all the eye contact that they were giving!

Then after all the awkward looks from others and the nervous talk (from sexymocha) we walked upstairs and found 2 couples in this "naked room"going at it! I couldn't believe my eyes! Butt Naked! I have never seen other people have sex live in the flesh! They offered complimentary massage and the masseuse turned out to be the creepy guy walking around in socks. He again said"sexy dress" I said "thanks" then kept it pushing - I wanted to run but that would have been immature.

So we peeked in the other sections with sofas and mattresses on theground that were only covered by sheer curtains and there were couples giving each other oral sex! We find a seat right next to this big round bed and we observed everybody else for a while. Then we couldn't help ourselves so I went ahead and gave him the job (if you know what Imean). I thought about wanting to get it reciprocated but something in me didn't want my butt touching any of their furniture (although"clean" towels were available) and I was a little shy and didn't want to spread my legs for everyone to see just like the other females were doing in that play room. So lucky for my sexy mocha he got a good job done! Lol

Enough about us! So later on, two older women maybe in their 40's, who were downstairs on the dance floor with their men jumped on the round bed surrounded by sheer curtains and started to go at it. OH MY!

Then in the glass door room on our left were 2 supersized women rubbing on each other with a black man with a Hatwatching right outside like a hawk. So when sexy mocha decided to go to the restroom, I walked right with him as I was nervous to be left alone. The restroom was by the massage section!!! Aaaahhh there goes the creepy guy! There was a woman on the massage table - butt naked -was she getting a massage? I guess you can call it that! The masseuse's fingers were all up in her while her boyfriend/guy was kissing her. She was going bananas and I was just so interested with how much more she could take of that! Lol Then the masseuse puts a condom on and f*&ks her! OH my!The boyfriend was holding her down because she was going bananas! Iwouldn't want to be that girl on that table! Lol

So we kept exploring, going back and forth by the different rooms and floors. Then sexy mocha had to go to the restroom again! I was standing right by the masseuse who was rubbing his feet. Then he says "Sexy dress! You should get a deep tissue massage!" I said "no thanks, I just had it done last week" and then I realized I was nervous enough to bore him with "... and I have these knots on my back and only my personal massage therapist could fix them" - after I said that I thought WTH was I talking about??? lol - I did not know what to say but I definitelydidn't want the massage that he was "referring" to! Eww, I can't imagine where else his hands has been - in someone's pu&&y, his d!@k, and his feet!Gross!

We go back in the room with the round bed and I got a little bit morecomfortable but not enough to be butt naked! I seduced my sexy mochaand took advantage of him ;). I guess I like the thought that we were beingwatch by others but we didn't reveal all of us, we still had as much clothes on as we can keep. I wore a dress for a reason :) Then a few minutes later I accidentally looked in the glass door and I saw the black man with the hat waving us in. I just waved back! Eww I didn'twant to be in a small room with two big women and a naked man with a HAT! -althought his body was bangin!

Then in the midst of all that there were two couples right by eachother - the ladies giving the men a blow job, then the men must've "came" at the same time because the next thing I knew the two men were screaming like they were in a football game! "yeahhh!" then gave each other high fives as the women were kissing! OMG! All that fluid exchange is not cool!

So we go on exploring between rooms again. then I find myself staring at what was once clearly separated sections of 3 different couples a few minutes before and when I came back around, I can't tell who was with who! They were involved in this big ass orgy! My goodness. I'm watching closely trying to see how they make that work! I even watched closely how a threesome really worked because I couldn't imagine myself in one! Like I said, I am not comfortable exploring with another female but IF I one day decide to explore... the female better be hot and beautiful because I only fawks with good looking people!! hahaha...

I think I'd come back still not sure if I can bare sharing my sexy mocha but I'm glad he enjoyed himself just with our lil play!

Sincerely,

I'ma A Diva from Seattle

Age - ain't nothing but a number part II

2009-04-01T12:57:00.000-07:00

I was getting to know a man who's 16 years older than I am! I gave it a shot just to see if I can date someone for their money. Let's call him Mr. Professional - he was definitely wealthier than the rest of the men in my life. He had a job that I can talk about all day, he has a few properties in US, and he is single (at first I ignored that fact). So, Mr. Professional and I always have something to debate about - we just have different opinions! For instance, he walked me to my car after a good date and I gave him a hug but he stole a kiss! wtf? He thinks that was called for and I definitely disagree. He would constantly talk about what he has or how much money his watch costs or how he gave his ex fiance a 6 karat ring - that's nice and all but a few weeks back when he asked me what made me happy and I said water and palm trees - I didn't even get a hint of a tropical vacation? Whack! So that little thing we had ended as soon as I finally got way too irritated by him.
Then months later he comes back begging for a second chance - and I totally shut him down after a few excuses here and there! I definitely can't date anyone just for the money - I have to be attracted and there needs to be chemistry involved! But I'll give you juicy details of what we "chatted about". I sent a mass email about some cheap tickets to a concert and he emails back saying "Can I be your date and I'll even cook breakfast" What? Who told him that if I did go on a date with him that it will last until breakfast time? Unless he was going to cook breakfast for dinner...lol

I'ma-A-diva says: good afternoon.. busy at work?

Mr. Professional says: yes. pretty busy. whats up?

I'ma-A-diva says: nothing just making sure you're busy

Mr. Professional says:I should b busy w/u

Mr. Professional says:lol

I'ma-A-diva says:not busy enough

I'ma-A-diva says:ha!

I'ma-A-diva says: sorry ya can't be my date for the Sat night

Mr. Professional says:next tiem right

I'ma-A-diva says:but that brings me to my next point - I think you're a very decent man and we did have the chance to get to know each other...however it didn't quite progress to anything more

I'ma-A-diva says:I feel we'd be better as friends

I'ma-A-diva says:It took me a little while to realize that - sorry if it's inconvenient

Mr. Professional says:No worries!

Mr. Professional says: No more for me? We never even got it started...

I'ma-A-diva says:well we are friends - lol - I just didn't want you to keep thinking one day we'll go on a date when I finally am sure that's not the case...

Mr. Professional says:That little fooling around that we did should not even count-LOL....Oh Well, I guess its back to Match.com for me

Mr. Professional says:I havent even REALLY seen u naked!

I'ma-A-diva says: yeah - sorry

Mr. Professional says:Boooooooo

I'ma-A-diva says:so that was the goal huh? to see me naked

Mr. Professional says:My day is shot!

Mr. Professional says: No, that wasnt the goal as I saw u ....topless,, I guess but, I always thought I had a chance...

I'ma-A-diva says:u did?

Mr. Professional says:and u looked nice, real nice by the way...

I'ma-A-diva says:I thought it was pretty dark but u never know who has night vision these days

Mr. Professional says:sure I did

Mr. Professional says: I loved the way that u responded to me too

Mr. Professional says: the way ur body did any way-LOL

I'ma-A-diva says:LOL

I'ma-A-diva says:NOOOOOO COMMENT

Mr. Professional says:I guess, I can FINALLY stop trying then....CHIT!

Mr. Professional says: Please comment...u didnt enjoy our times; the few that we had?

I'ma-A-diva says:FINALLY

I'ma-A-diva says:haha

I'ma-A-diva says:I like how you capitalized that

Mr. Professional says::You didnt answer my ??? I thought u did enjoy our few tryst b/c there are certain elements that u cannot control

Mr. Professional says::and that u cannot lie about

I'ma-A-diva says:right

Mr. Professional says::so is that a yes?

I'ma-A-diva says: no comment but you have a valid point

Mr. Professional says: why nc?

I'ma-A-diva says: because I don't want to comment

Mr. Professional says: No need to get snappy

I'ma-A-diva says:I wasn't

I'ma-A-diva says:lol

Mr. Professional says: alright, I will back da F&%^$*)QW off. I regret that u landed where u are

I'ma-A-diva says:and most importantly let me know if match.com is worth it

Mr. Professional says:eHarmony is better

I'ma-A-diva says: are you on that too?

Mr. Professional says:date.com too

Mr. Professional says:I still want u so what do u think?

I'ma-A-diva says: too late?!?

Mr. Professional says: u dont havea single date left inu for me?

I'ma-A-diva says:not in that aspect... I wouldn't want you to try to get in my pants at the end of the night

I'ma-A-diva says: A good 'ol time with a friend discussing or debating issues of the world OR observing art OR more of that type of activity is what I'll be more open to... but nothing more

Mr. Professional says: Gettin in ur pants in not the challenge, you have spent the night with me completely wasted as in only very small amount of clothing and we maintained w/o me pusiht the envelope. I can get sex all the time right now b/c I am good at it-LOL, its staying there as well as in ur head; nthat I'd

I'ma-A-diva says:I wasn't wasted - never been wasted... you didn't push the envelope because I didn't let you

Mr. Professional says:WRONG. u can stop me mailing it, but u cannot stop me from pushing the envelope

I'ma-A-diva says:you couldn't mail it because you couldn't push it so now what?

Mr. Professional says: One night, you were pretty sauced but if u say u werent then u werent

Mr. Professional says: I can always push it

I'ma-A-diva says: sure you can

I'ma-A-diva says:I wasn't "pretty sauced" - I had 2 glasses of champaigne at the reception which was an hour to 2 hours before we got to your house - so I would say no

Mr. Professional says:u know urself better than me...but I remember a couple of glasses of wine too

I'ma-A-diva says:a couple = 2

Mr. Professional: ur decision is ur decsion....R U Sure taht even if I begged u wont change?

I'ma-A-diva says: No..

Now I know why he's in his 40's and still single!!! Probably because no one can stand his a$$... lol

So you see, I can't get a long with young lads, I can't find an old man to level with, and I can't find someone my age! I PASS! (AGAIN!) NEXT PLEASSSSE!

Sincerely,

I'ma-A-Diva from Seattle

AGE - more than just a number! part I

2009-04-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

I just recently had an encounter with a young lad ( 2 years younger than I am) and at first, I just knew it wouldn't work but then that nice heart of mine told me to give it a try especially after he said that "age is nothing but a number" - so I DID. He was decent looking (honestly a small head for his body - some friends think he's a cutie), okay manners, mediocre fashion, but he had a lot to learn! He confirmed my definite point that anyone younger than me is too young. I need a man who is at least 5 years older than I am! I don't have time to teach anyone all that nor am I open to be their point of change (been there and done that!). We all know we can't really change men, I tried - trust me it's not easy. As I age, I become more and more impatient with the things I know I cannot tolerate!

So this young lad - let's call him well - YOUNG LAD - can't be more annoying even if I tried to ignore it. He was always looking for approval (just like a little kid would!) "Did you enjoy my company?" - after a good time of just laughing and chatting - well duh?!; "Where you thinking of me?" after I responded to his text message that I missed the night before - another duh!?; "Am I dressed like a playa? Am I dressed ok?" - wtf? who asks that question after you've arrived at the destination and dont' have a choice but to wear what you have? - MANNN is that annoying! - To top it all off and the very thing that turned me totally off was when he came to a party I helped host and he came close to me and whispered "A lot of girls have been giving me the looks tonight..." the nerve!!! so I quickly said "That's good, I'm not worried" - translation: great! go find someone else to irritate!

IN THIS CASE AGE IS DEFINITELY MORE THAN JUST A NUMBER - IT'S A DEFINITION OF STATURE - I PASS! NEXT PLEASE!

Sincerely,
I'ma - A - Diva from Seattle

Will my main man MAN UP?

2009-02-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

As one of the only single ladies in the crew, I can tell you that the ratio between fun and frustration can be 50/50 but honeslty, as I get older, it's turning to be 40/60. Some say I got high standards, others say I'm difficult, and the rest thinks I'm too busy. Either ways, you won't find me defensive on all accusations. But sometimes, I'll find myself saying "I just haven't found the right one".

Lately however, I have been thinking more and more about my main man. Sometimes I feel like he is the one for me but my big ego always wins the argument. My big ego protects me by helping me deny the fact that he may be the one. I know it's confusing - but if you are a woman readin this, I'm sure you can relate.

An "expert" on dating once wrote that a single girl should have a top 4. The top 4 guy is the one that you least like, he takes you out occasionally and entertains you on the phone when you have nothing else to do. The top 3 is someone you like better than your top 4, but not by much. Your top 2 is someone you really like. You spend hours on the phone with him, you have fun going out with him and he always comes through when your top 1 is not available or is acting up. your top 1, of course, is the winner. You can spend endless times with him and it's never boring, maybe even have some kind of feelings for him.

My current main man is someone I met uncoventionally. He and I just happened to be in Las Vegas, in the same club, on a long weekend. He was there for football, and I was there for my brother's wedding last August 2007. It was about 2 o'clock in the morning and I just got woken up from my nap by one of the bouncers at Tao who thought I was drunk. Yes! I took a nap in the club! You can laugh now :). So to actually wake myself up, I walked around and saw 2 cute men. I dragged on of my girls to come with me to talk to them and then my Psces man interrupted. I'm not quite sure what happened next but the next thing I remember is that we were sparking a conversation. I'm going to confess that I came ot Las Vegas that weekend with an ulterior motive. I wanted to know what it felt like to be bad. A one night stand in Las Vegas is cliche but I wanted to check that off my list :0

All of a sudden one of the girls with us needed help getting out of the club and before we departed, he gave me his number and insisted that I find him in the club to dance later on. Something about him was comforting and so I thought I should come back to find him later. I didn't think I would actually be willing to come back to look for him, but I did and we had a blast dancing, talking, and throwing puch lines at each other. He invited me back to his room and although I showed some hesitation, deep inside I felt comfortable. We ended up talking for another 2 hours. There was too much to talk about and I was surprised we did all that talking despite what we both actually probably have been thinking of doing. We fell asleep and not until the next morning did we invade each other's bubble. He was cute about suggesting we should call each other somtime. He specifcally said "don't be afraid to call and say hi, I'll do the same and don't worry, I'm not annoying and I won't call you everyday but I'll be calling you".

Almost two years later, I find myself writing about him. He has been my MAIN MAN for almost two years! We talk almost every day and he calls me multiple times a day sometimes. He has plenty of reservations when it comes to a long distance relationships because his last long term girlfriend (turned fiance) didn't work. We see each other every 3-5 months, and usually during coincident moments. For instance I had a job interview in Monetery Bay and it so happened that he was assigned to work in Oakland, which is only 2 hours away. So he drove to pick me up and stay with him for the weekend. Also at one time, I was laid off and I decided to visit my girl in Vegas and just have fun, and it just so happened that he was planning to be in Vegas the same weekend.

In the "almost two years" that we've known each other, we've only spent a total of 4 weekends together. 2 of which were coincidental. Are we nutts? Are we out of our minds for keeping this going? I feel like I need to keep it going until it won't go anymore, and because we are so similar I am confident he feels the same.

He visited me here in Seattle a few months ago and met my friends. He knew it was important for my friends to meet him, and he made sure he was able to come and visit. Even though he doesn't say he misses me every day, it showed in the way he kissed me. The way he was excited to spend time with me. And even the way he was trying to annoy me just for kicks. We get along so well because we both have similar personalities. He's a Pisces and so am I. We have very little differences and I'm happy about those. We surprised each other about all the things we are similar with. Frankly we are both impressed with each other :) for instance I have always dreamt how I'm going to march the aisle with KC and JoJo's All my life intro, and to my surprised he LOVES that song and can put it on repeat just like I can. That is only one example of our random similarities.

I can tell he "loves" me but I'm not sure what type of love he feels. I conclude, however, that he isn't "in love" with me because if he was, he would've conquered any fears and allowed what we feel to happen. I dont' force the issue because I believe that even though it's clear I like him and he likes me, it will still be his role to ask for us to move to the next level.

I give this whole situation the benefit of the doubt. I mean sometimes I wonder what kind of a man he really is, inviting me (a stranger) to his room after just spending 2 hours in the club. But then again, what does he think about me agreeing to have him take me back to his room after 2 hours in the club. We both have looked passed that. We definitely have an unconventional relationship!

So when he randomly texts me he misses me, or when he calls me to say goodnight, or when he sends me flowers every Valentine's Day, or when we talk for hours on the phone.... I often stop and wonder if I will live to see the day when my main man MAN UP!?

Sincerely,
I'ma - A - Diva
from Seattle

Love and Basketball (and me)

2009-02-10T23:27:00.000-08:00

This must be one of my favorite love stories! But as I sit and watch this movie for the 6th or 7th time, I realize some things that I didn't before. It must all be a part of maturing and where I am in my life. The last part of th emovie where she clibms out of ther window to wake up Quincy and confess how she nevers topped loving him and would like to play for his heart - that got me staring blank for a while. I admire her character! I admire the fact that she did what she had to just to get the man, who she was sure was for her!

I am the very opposite of that girl. So far in my life, I've come to realize that I'm not that girl who fights to get her man. I have always believed that the man made for me will be exactly who I end up with. I have always felt that if a man's stupid enough to let me go then he never was the one for me in the first place. I grew up thinking that I should have more pride in myself!

After watching this movie again - I begin to question my belief system. Is my way the right way? I mean I can't see myself having to convince any man that I am the woman for him. I want my man to think that for himself without the help of my ever so convincing rationale. But what if I'm wrong? What if we are supposed to fight for who we like/love? What if I'm supoosed to challenge the guy who left me for a one on one basketball (well just theoretically)? What if people we love who leave us need their decisions challenged? What if?

Sincerely,

Ima A Diva from Seattle

When Did We Become So Vain???

2009-01-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

When did sex become more important to a man that the love that a woman gives him? When did money become more important to us than the missions it which were created? Why is it that we focus on our lives as if it is all that matters, yet forget the purposes of which this world was created?

These and many questions alike are often times overlooked and disregarded because of what has been cultivated in us from birth. Last night I had a discussion and began to talk about my purpose of life. Granted I do not know what I am here to do; ultimately my conversation led to the beginning teachings and literature of the Bible (that should be pointed out has been redefined and recreated to mimic the perspectives of that particular individual writing it). It is my opinion that the Holy Bible is our book of guidance. One teacher defined the Bible as the: Beginning instructions before leaving earth; nice analogy right?! It is an instrument that is supposed to guide us to walk in and follow the works of our God and it's primary example of a human doing what is the ideology of all humans would be that of Jesus Christ!

Let's measure how perspective varies: If you walked down to your local coffee stand to see a older woman on the ground, would you bother to ask her if she is alright? Some people believe it would be their civic duty to ensure that woman's safety, while others believe it isn't their business whether or not she is okay. Yet, most would agree the thought process is there. However, the same thought of an older man would probably not get the same thought process, especially from a woman, because of the fear that we automatically assume in the danger that could happen if we did check on him. Which leads me to my point. Society shapes all perspectives of life and how to live it. I believe humans have become so self absorbed in what their daily routines are that they dismiss anything that isn't associate with them. We neglect our environment by throwing away recyclable items and fueling our cars with dangerous substances to get to and from work every day. Although we all live in our own right, does it really mean what we are doing is right? Our defense often times is that we are only as strong as our counterparts. If society, for example, says that fueling our cars with gasoline despite the effects it brings our planet, is the only means to effective transportation then who are we, as individuals, to against the grain? Yet, when we hear of or witness the developments of gas less cars or other forms of transportation, we default to what upholds our image...our nicer cars over the gas less cars. Am I saying that you're wrong; NO! Am I saying that you're right; NO!

To learn then to teach is a common problem we see among those who had advantage, but why? Why take in knowledge and be selfish? Why work for a company that is only about profit rather than the better of all people alike? Why is it that we so often forget that we all bleed the same? I have been raised with various perspectives of religion and have multiple beliefs that are not always aligned with the same religion as you...does that mean I will not be saved? If a person says to you that they understand the rights and wrongs of man made laws and the sins of a Bible, but doesn't believe they have to justify their faith by attending a service that a pastor/minister/etc. will conduct and pass of to his/her congregation a perspective of what he/she read, do you fault them by justifying in rebuttal why they should attend? And at what point in that same conversation will you acknowledge that you have just passed judgement???

To be vain is the lacking of a deeper meaning...or what I'd like to reference purpose. We're here on earth for something rather than nothing. So why not spend this time doing good not only for yourself, but for the community in which you serve? Take the knowledge that you have been granted with and share with others.

This last point I'll make is from a story I read about a family of four eating dinner on their back lawn. A robber comes up to the family heavily disguised and asks for all the money they have accessible to them, while pointing a gun to the their 14-year old daughters head. What is your immediate thought? To fight him; try to kill or badly hurt him; maybe an eye for an eye? Well, the mother of the daughter said as nicely as she could that he did not have to do this. There were other options for him out there if he just sought them out. She offered him a glass wine and the entire family ended up hugging, crying, and robber eventually left. No harm done. Is this situation always possible, probably not, but if you never try how will you know?

Selflessness is the name...but are you ready for the game?

Keep it pimpin!

Destined for Greatness!!

Bravery borderline Crazy! or am I?

2009-01-20T13:12:00.000-08:00

Most of my friends can attest that I am the type who tries to avoid conflict. However when time calls for desperate measures my ingenuity can definitely get me in trouble. It’s more common than not that when we are agitated, we tend to be more brave and I’m definitely a product of that flaw.

In the spirit of “confessions” I will share with you my brave tendencies. My ex boyfriend, let’s call him the soul-traveler, was a very earthy type of guy. He always amazed me about how much he knew about culture. He taught himself how to speak Spanish, he is well travelled, he listened to good music (the type that you normally won’t hear in the mainstream), and the list goes on. He was just that earthy, handsome guy, who did things uncommon from the average Joe. This also meant that he was charming, which we all know is a dangerous characteristic for your man to have.

5 months into the relationship I started noticing his behavior change. I wasn’t receiving the same attention and that bothered me. I didn’t accuse him of anything or ask him questions because like I said - I hate conflicts. So instead I went through his phoneJ. Please don’t try this at home unless you’re sure your skin is as thick as the Great Wall of China!

So there it was - some flirty text messages in his phone and for a while I didn’t know what to do with that information - So I kept it to myself and somehow distanced my feelings (inch by inch) from him. The next thing I knew, he was travelling more than before and in the spirit of being brave, I would often check his voicemail (-yes I got access to his voicemail from peeping over his shoulders for the password)

One day, after days of checking his voicemail for suspicious alerts, I finally got what I asked for - a voicemail from a girl from Canada talking about how much she misses him and when he’s going to visit her again? WTF? I kept my cool – and I didn’t confront him for a while until I figured out an approach that worked for me. So my best approach was to play with his mind. I started telling him about my “dreams” – little did he know my dreams were based on the voicemails from his phone! Yes I’m crazy for making him think my dreams were real! I would say things like, “you can’t believe what I dreamt about last night! That you were having an affair with a few girls and one of them is from Canada!” And I had fun getting manipulating his reactions! Fun!

Like I said, do not try this! I mean some of us prefer not to know, some of us trust our men, but the rest is screwed! I seldom get brave but when I do, I go all the way! J Some would call me crazy – but really I’m just smart. I can’t accuse him without evidence, and when I finally got evidence I could not get myself to tell him I was invading his privacy so the next best thing was to F with him! That way I had fun, and I slowly realized how NOT amazing he was.

Here’s the twisted part – we’re still Friends! And we often laugh about what happened in the past!

Sincerely,
I'ma-a-Diva from Seattle

Like Mother....Like Daughter?

2008-12-27T16:17:00.001-08:00

People say it all the time, "You're just like your mother." Sometimes I hate hearing it only because there is ONE thing I absolutly hate about her. This will be the first time I will share this secret with anyone.

Before I share, I just want to make it clear, that my mother is wonderful. She's the best mom I could ever ask for. She cooks, cleans, bakes, fixes things and does anything I need help with. She's wonderful and she's the next Betty Crocker. Everyone loves her and she loves everyone. She supports my sister and I in all that we do and she offers the best advice, cause moms are always right. But there's just one thing that I wish I could change. One flaw that I wish I could fix.

My mother has a drinking problem. I'd like to call her an alcoholic, but I find that definition so harsh and a part of me doesn't want to accept it. I've tried numerous times to brush this problem aside. I've talked to her on several occasions about changing her ways and she's made countless promises to cut down. She's even said, "I'll quit tomorrow." But did it even happen? No. At first it seems like she is really going to follow through but it never fails that our neighbors will come by and want to have a drink.

I feel that drinking on special occasions is expected, but it never fails that every Christmas I've experienced with my family, ends up in a fight between someone. I thought this year was going to be the year of no DRAMA. I must say everything was perfect until the end of the night on Christmas Day. I was already in bed before midnight and downstairs I could hear yelling...then screaming and a loud thud. I came out of my room and asked nicely, "What's going on, do you guys need help?" Turns out my grandpa who is pretty much handicap was stuck on the floor drunk and my mother who was also drunk was trying to lift him back into his wheelchair. My grandma was trying to guide them or something. Then my grandma replied to me selfishly and intoxicated as well, "Yes we need help! I hope that one day when your old that someone will take care of you. You are inconsiderate..."

I felt my blood boil. I tried to control my anger. How dare my grandma talk to me that way?! What was her problem? Oh ya, that's right she's drunk too. So I tried to help my grandpa get back into his chair, and my mother starts talking and trying to help me at the same time. She's unbalanced and her breath reeked of alcohol. That was it. I lost it. I yelled at her. "You're f***ing drunk MOM! Let me do this. You can't even balance." She disagreed of course. Her words slurred, "I'm not drunk." I replied, "Look in the f***ing mirror at yourself!" My eyes swelled. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't believe I was yelling like this. Do I really have this much pent up anger?

My grandpa begged me to stop, but my sister backed me up. "Grandpa, you don't know what we deal with. It's like this every night with her." Of course, they don't understand. I picked up my grandpa, got him into the chair and eventually got him into bed. His leg was bleeding. Somehow he cut his leg. I wrapped up his leg too. My mom continued to b*tch about how ungrateful my sister and I are, etc. Saying things that weren't even relevant to what we were talking about. She even told me sister to "F" off. I was still extremely upset. I went to the bathroom, collected myself and tried to go to bed. My sister laid with me as we cried. You would think this horrible evening would be over, but unfortunately...it wasn't.

My drunken mother decided to come into my room and ask me if I was okay and if my sister was okay. I was irritated. So I replied with an attitude, "What do you think mom? You told my sister to "F" off. You're drunk, go to bed." She didn't listen and she denied everything that just happened. Then she tried to justify her hurtful words by stating that we don't respect her, we don't appreciate anything she does...etc..etc..I tried to explain to her that she's just NOT getting the point. You wouldn't guess what she said next, "Fine, I'll quit drinking tomorrow, but you girls better f***ing help me clean this house..." Wtf? I could not believe that she was trying to compare her drinking problem to cleaning the house? This time I was going to fight back.

I yelled at her sternly. "Mom you're not getting the POINT. You're not drinking responsibly. You're out of control. There is no way you would be able to stop drinking cold turkey. Can't you just drink responsibly?" She tried to yell over me. "I do get it...blah blah blah" I yelled back, "You're not listening." Then she pushed me and told me "F*** YOU." I screamed for my dad. "DAD TAKE MOM TO BED NOW! SHE JUST PUSHED ME!" She slammed the door in my face. I couldn't believe that my own mother pushed me. I couldn't believe that she was consumed of so much alcohol and anger that it led her to react in such a unacceptable way. My sister and I cried for hours.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well that night. I need to get out of this house. Somehow, some way. I pray that god will grace me with a job out of state. My mother needs help! I don't know what to do. I don't want her to die because of this addiction she has. The next morning, she tried to act like nothing happened. I don't know if I can forgive her for this.

I never want to be like my mother when she is this way.

-PoCkeT FuLL oF SuNsHiNe From Seattle

Private Dancer

2008-12-25T13:58:00.000-08:00

Ok so it’s not what you think – I don’t dance for money… but let me break it down for you. In my recent findings, I can honestly confess that I can get any man in the crowd with the right moves. I’ll share a couple of examples about how I met the few guys that I have dated or “talked to” so far. I’ll start with my lap dance lover boy in college. He actually confessed to me after 3 weeks of hanging out that he admires the way I dance. He even eluded the fact that I “must be good in bed”. Then there was the football jock (who now plays for Cleveland Browns) who has always told me that I make him look good when I dance with him, so when I’m on the dance floor, he was always ready to drop whatever or whoever is on him to dance with me. Then there was the muscle man who loved the way I did the ‘chicken head’ dance. Then there was the soul traveler, who I saw first and knew right away that he was going to ask me to dance with him by the end of the night – I was right! Then in Las Vegas, I had the perfect chemistry with sexy mocha which started as a dance off challenge. Then, more recently, the sexy chef who couldn’t get enough after one dance – so we ended up dancing all night! - don't worry I'll elaborate on some of this on future blogs.

So you see, dancing is a big part of my life and I have gotten a lot of what I want because of it. But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if I can get a good pool of men without dancing. And for a quick second, that thought had dangerously played with my ego but I came to a conclusion that it’s impossible to rule out dancing in my life. It is a big part of who I am and I appreciate that there are some people that appreciate it.

I solemnly enjoy dancing like nobody is watching and often times whoever I’m dancing with enjoys it as well. Most of the time my motives aren’t anything sexual but that’s how it always looks from the outside perspective – which is too bad because sometimes to me it’s just the art of movement…but to him it’s making love in the club with clothes on. The world seems to find it very easy to connect dancing and sex. I can't blame them because it is about the same motion. I often get the question "Is it true that dancers are good in bed" and to be honest I'm almost sick of the question that I start varrying my answer just for fun. Sometimes I'll say of course definitely, or only good dancers are good in bed, or I'll say no not true - I've had a dancer and he was not good in bed.

I just wish I can dance how I want and not get judged for it. I wish I can dance how I want and not have anyone think that I will do the same thing with them without clothes on...

Yours Truly,
I'ma A Diva from Seattle

SELFISH

2008-12-22T20:04:00.001-08:00

SELFISH. It's the word I've been pondering. Some say I have a 'Heart of Gold'...or was it a 'Body of Gold'? I've been called "Sunshine" and known as giving everything I have to anyone in need, hence I am the total opposite of Selfish, I'm selfless.

Do me a favor and define selfish. Better yet, I'll define it for you. Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. I mean, lets face reality when I say this definition defines most women. Women are naturally more selfless than men, majority of us women were born as givers and nurturers. We give love and attention no matter what. In my opinion, men are just a little bit more selfish. I'm not dogging on all men saying that they are ALL selfish assholes. But yes, some do exist. I've encountered many.

AND then...there's me. Why am I the victim of giving too much? Loving too much? Being too selfless? Why can't I be more selfish?

I'm not doubting my capabilities that I can't be more selfish. It's something I work on daily. Focus on me. Be selfish. Forget about everything else and do what I need to do to better myself and be me. And where do I need to put that selfish energy? Into Men! Relationships! When it comes to men, I tend to brush my selfish feelings aside and give everything I have. I don't know what it is about me. I know other women can relate. I could start with the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Guess I gotta find a pocket in my shirt to keep my heart in, and sew it shut for a while. ;)

Lately, I've realized that there are more selfish people in this world and there are more selfless people than I ever thought. I'm learning to shut out the people who are too selfish to recognize a wonderful person in their life because they are not worthy nor do they deserve the presence of me!

I'm a SELFISH woman. I'll SHARE all my LOVE with you...But my HEART?

That's my posession.

-*Pocket Full Of Sunshine*-From Seattle

Understanding Life... From All Perspectives

2008-12-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

Understanding Life... From All Perspectives
You Don't Know Me

Understanding Life... From All Perspectives (Judgments)

"What I need from you is understanding, how can we communicate if you don't hear what I'm saying" (Escape, 1993).

I believe that in life there are many perspecitves, yet one's perspective somehow is always different than anothers. In life we are raised to believe the teachings of our God and his ministers, the moral of our parents (or a single parent for some), and the instructions of our teachers.

I was once told, "to judge is to be judged" (Anonymous) and that is why I'm writing this today.You don't know me!You don't know the trials and tribulations faced in my years of living. There isn't one person that understands the pain and suffering that I've faced as a young child and even as a young adult. Your perspective of life has no simularities to the perspective of life I've endured. So to look at me and my family and see what we've done or not done; what we've got or don't got; what we're going through and not going through and pass a perspective, or what I like to rephrase as a judgment, sheds no barriers on how I will continue to live my life.

Every year I grow. Every year I am shaped. Every year I will do something different that I probably would never of thought of or admit to do. For example, "I walk like this cause I can back it up. I got a big ego!" (Beyonce, 2008). A few years ago I probably wouldn't ever dare to say something so bold, but because I am finding myself and because I know my worth in this world I have no fears, I have no reservations, and I have no regrets for the way I live my life in this imperfect and sinful world. I will be judged, but not by you. I will repay for the mistakes I've made, but no payment will ever go to you. I will repent and ask for forgiveness, but you my friend will never hear it.This me!! And I'm finally happy with me. I am happy to walk the streets with my beautiful mixed hair bouncing as I take every strong and determined step towards greatness. To have my head up high, and a smile on my face cause at the end of each day I know that "I" respect your life so I have no fears if you don't respect mine!

Keep it pimping!

Destined for Greatness!!

Let them go into their caves and they will spring back like rubber bands

2008-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, I admit it. I read self-help books. And under that category are relationship help books. Not that I feel I NEED relationship help. I just find it really interesting to hear what other people suggest about these strange creatures called "men." So my latest adventure into the realms of self-help has involved being cozied-up on the couch reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Yes, I know I am slightly behind the trend to read this book and discover all the differences between the sexes, but nevertheless, it is still interesting. I am slowly finding out what all the buzz was about! This is the first book I have read that plainly explains particular behaviors-- and justifies why the behavior occurs!

There is one specific male behavior discussed in this book that struck a cord with me immediately-- "going to the cave."

Now, as women, we can sometimes get clingy. We think when men run from us, that we have done something wrong. We follow them, we ask them questions, we want to know what we did to upset them. But the truth of the matter is-- they just want to be left alone.

Why do they digress into their cave? Why do they run away? Why do they want to be left alone? Simple- they need to be alone to regain their autonomy, think about things, solve problems, create solutions. This can not be done when women are breathing down their throats.

I have found myself guilty of this many times. My man retreats into his office, for no apparent reason. He says he's working, but really I see him surfing the Web. I start to wonder, why doesn't he want to spend time with me? Have I upset him? Is he okay? ????? So-- eventually, I meander into his office and ask him if he's okay. Yes, he always responds. Then I make my way back to whatever I was doing and leave him alone. These are just the mini-cave disappearances.

However, he has disappeared Osama Bin Laden style once before. Things were going great and slowly he began pulling away from me. As he pulled away, I clinged on for dear life, giving him even more attention. It was this particular action that led him to a cave dissappearance for almost 2 months.

Now, all of this mumbo jumbo cave talk may be confusing to you, so let me break it down. Basically, when men are in a relationship (marriage, dating, close to dating) they tend to start to feel like they are losing themselves. They need to get their autonomy back. They need to feel powerful. To solve this problem, they need time alone.

If women follow them into their cave, ask questions and persist to bother them, they will begin to feel guilty that they have gone into their cave. They feel like you don't trust that they are okay. They need that reasurrance that you will be fine without them. How do you provide that reasurrance? LEAVE THEM ALONE.

According to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, men are like rubber bands. They stretch and stretch until they can't be stretched any more. If you keep on stretching them, they will break. But if you let them stretch, let them gather themselves, leave them alone-- they will soon snap right back to you.

Even before I read this advice, I experienced it first hand during that month and a half. He needed time alone. He was losing himself. Spending too much time with me. So, I left him alone. I let him call me. I let him think. Then, amazingly, he sprang right back to me. We picked up right where we left off, only our relationship was stronger! It was amazing.

So, the moral of the story is...ladies, let your man go into his cave. Don't worry about what "you" did, don't worry about him. Just leave him be. Once he regains his manliness, he'll spring right back into your arms.

Love always,

Sin City Angel

Timing is Everything...

2008-12-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the quote, "Timing is Everything." I've heard it from the movie "Hitch," I've heard it from a friend of a friend and from your mamma's mama. Needless to say, it's damn true. Time is the essence of our life. We're all WAITING for something. Which brings me to the point of this blog. I'm waiting for the big shift to happen in my life. Career. Love. Life. I feel like I'm stuck in this hallway full of doors on each side. Which door do I open? Which one do I choose?

Why was I laid off from my job, and what was the timing of that? Questions and questions overlapping each other. Timing. That's what it is timing. There's a plan for me. I just have to be patient right? I'm not losing hope. I'm optimistic. I want a job. I want to launch my career now!

Time...time...Time...it's a beautiful thing right?

The other day, I was talking to my trainer about this guy that I've been into for a while and he told me, "Maybe it's just not the right time, timing is everything." And I thought, "You know what? He's right...Right?" I began to tell him about this guy that I dated a year ago who was really sweet...a great guy, but I just wasn't interested in him on that 'same level.' We didn't connect on that level that I felt was enough to further our relationship. Then he asked me, "Do you think it would be different if you were dating him now? Maybe you weren't ready then, just how the person you are talking to now. It's all about timing, and now you're on the other side of the fence, cause you're ready and he's not." Wow. Was I getting a taste of my own medicine? That's a hard pill to swallow, but in a sense I saw his point of view and I inhaled every word, slowly and deeply.

Things will happen when the timing is right. The only thing for me is that if and when I want something bad enough... I tend to do anything to make it happen no matter what. BUT...what I need to realize in truth...is sometimes no matter how hard I try sometimes things aren't meant to be mine. Some things just aren't meant to happen...because it just isn't the right TIME.

In the end...TIMING is EVERYTHING...

-*PoCket FuLL oF SunShiNe* from Seattle-

He’s just not into me so I am not that into him either!

2008-12-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing I am absolutely sure about myself it’s that I have too much pride when it comes to dating. Most people argue that we should fight for what we want but my take is that I don’t have to convince anyone that I am the right girl for them. What you see is what you get and I make it a point that they see all that they need to get to know who I am and decide for themselves if I am the right person for them. I definitely only do this with men I fantasy potential with.

So far, I have invested myself with 3 men in my twenties and to this day, I’m still single. So therefore, they weren’t or aren’t that into me so I need to take it easy. Not take it too seriously and keep focusing on my success. I know that the right man will come along and will not require such puzzling thought process.

For now, I am deeply involved with someone who lives thousands of miles away. I’ve known him for over a year and our relationship has progressively gotten stronger but yet we are not officially committed to each other. He seems to be afraid of many unknowns – afraid that long distance is not going to work or afraid that we are not going to last long if we lived together. In conclusion, he doesn’t like me enough to overcome his fears – therefore, I stay aloof as well. I can’t force anyone to realize something. He has to realize for himself!

A few people have asked if I have read the book "He's just not that into you" and I tell them that I refuse to read it. Why? Because I don't need a stranger to remind me of the things that I should already know - and yes I say that with an attitude!

yours truly,

I'ma A Diva from Seattle

I'm no different sometimes!

2008-12-18T00:23:00.001-08:00

There I was sitting on his bachelor leather couch infront of a 50 something inches wide screen tv. He was making us some tea in the kitchen. I'm pretending to watch the television while deeply thinking about how to open up a conversation about how he hasn't called me for a week and suddenly wanted to hang out. I for sure did not want to sound nuts, but still wanted to get a convo about why that was. So he sat (not right next to me) - and I thought well I'm going to make my way into his bubble - so I did. Then the unexpected revelation came! He says "I have something to tell you" - so I thought: I've only known you for a little over a month, what could it possibly be? he continues, "you know how I have been M.I.A for almost 2 weeks? it's because I was boo'd up..."

WOW - faced with an unexpected couch confessional, I did not know how to react! Why tell me such thing? Why confess when clearly we both are in a stage where we can do whatever we want? Why be M.I.A and completely neglect me for days if you're not committed to anyone? - all sorts of questions running in my head and what I ended up saying was: "Oh I see, well thanks for letting me know" - whoooooowhat? I can't believe I handled it like that.

We, women always complain about liars and guys who can't just keep it real! I got myself an honest guy sitting next to me and I resented it! Yes I know it's complex BUT I guess honesty is preferred to an extent. What he said was an uncalled confession that we both could have gone without! I was mentally checked out after that... thinking 'If you don't know how to manage your time, then that's your bad and no brownie points for telling me how you were boo'd up without following up with something like "but that's all over now because she wasn't anything like you"-'Yes sometimes I'm no different! Sometimes I can be just like how many men would say: DIFFICULT!

- your's truly,

I'ma A Diva from Seattle